Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
