I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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