the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
