So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mom said you looked used
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
