you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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