wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
