I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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