hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
