gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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