I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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