why didn't you poke me back
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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