when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
