i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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