But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
and you fell through a lawn chair
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
