I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
