Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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