Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
