dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
