I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize