I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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