is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
