You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
