It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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