I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize