if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
