Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize