just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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