Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Randomize