Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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