So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
