I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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