you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
