I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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