I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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