I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize