I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
