I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
