i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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