So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
