i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize