U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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