It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
