so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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