so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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