Don't you send me to vm
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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