The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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