Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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