We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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