I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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