i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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