I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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