farters have to be the big spoon...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
