let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
