This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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