is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
