You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
