I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
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Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
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Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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