pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
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Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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