Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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