my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
